<![CDATA[Deadspin: Chris Berman]]> http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/deadspin.com.png <![CDATA[Deadspin: Chris Berman]]> http://deadspin.com/tag/chris berman http://deadspin.com/tag/chris berman <![CDATA[ You're With Me, Election ]]> Yeah, yeah, I agree; there's something clearly disturbing about Boomer being the last human to interview John McCain and Barack Obama before we all go to the polls today. But look on the bright side: The phrase "Barack and a hard place" was not uttered; Berman didn't lose it and scream at an intern; and we got a college football playoff out of the deal. David Frost and Richard Nixon this wasn't, but neither was it Stephen A. Smith.

Here's the historic meeting between Berman, Barack Obama and John McCain that followed the Monday Night game; videos that will be pored over and debated by scholars for, oh, the next 10 minutes or so. Enjoy.

One of the great joys I get from these videos is the belief that ESPN first tried to give the interviews to Scott Van Pelt, causing Berman to set fire to the set and threaten to sue everyone at the network. I have no proof that this happened, but it's fun to think about.

And this is also fun:

Ha.

Obama, McCain Interviews [Fandome]

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Deadspin-5075779 Tue, 04 Nov 2008 10:30:56 EST Rick Chandler http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5075779&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Chris Berman; Friend And Inspiration To Young Aspiring Journalists ]]> Good interview over at the Uniwatch blog with Tyler Kepner, the Yankees beat writer for the New York Times. In it Kepner tells the story of when, as a kid, he produced a handwritten baseball magazine that ended up gaining a readership that included people such as George Vescey, Bob Costas and Jayson Stark. He started it when he was 13, and tells of how virtually everyone he sent it to was supportive; except for one high-profile broadcaster ...

TK: We had some famous subscribers, too. I always wanted to be a sportswriter, so I would just mail copies out to sportswriters. That’s how we got in the Times — I never asked for publicity, but I sent copies to George Vescey because I used to read his column in the school library. And he passed it along to his editor, who thought it would make a fun article. Anyway, I got a lot of really important advice from people who then decided to become subscribers. George Will somehow got hold of a copy, and he gave it to the commissioner, Fay Vincent, which was a big thrill for me, and he ended up subscribing. Bob Costas, Jayson Stark — I’d been reading Jayson’s stuff for years, and he became a great friend, giving me lots of advice, telling me about the business. He told me, “You’ll never wear No. 32 for the Phillies, but this job is the next best thing,” and he was right. Bill Lyon, who wrote for the Philadelphia Inquirer once sent me a $100 bill and wrote, “Consider this my subscription for life.” I still have that bill, actually — it’s the spare money at my house, in case I have to pay for something and don’t have any cash.

UW: It’s your “In case of emergency, break glass” money.

TK: Yeah. The only person who never responded was Chris Berman. I probably sent issues to him for a year, and he never wrote back. But everyone else was so kind, and so encouraging. And the Phillies were so good to me — I’ll always be grateful. In 1990, I probably got 10 or 12 day passes.

That's so rude, Berman; I don't believe it! Jesus! I'm sorry for exploding like this but have you never worked with young people before? Jesus!

Uni Watch Profiles: Tyler Kepner [Uni Watch]

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Deadspin-5050654 Tue, 16 Sep 2008 14:45:55 EDT Rick Chandler http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5050654&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Ladies Still Swarm The Swami ]]>

Busted Coverage got their bra-unfastening hand on a few photos of Chris Berman hugging up on some lovelies at the U.S. Open. The girl in the fuchsia (that is what that color is, right?) shirt would seem to be getting a little personal, until I tell you Berman had one of those glowing arc reactors installed in his chest like Iron Man. She just wants to make sure it works.

Yeah, well, SO WHAT BERMAN?!

Bloggers get pull with the chicks too.

Look, video evidence:

SEE?!

/dies alone and unloved, after dying of shame and AIDS

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Deadspin-5020513 Sat, 28 Jun 2008 14:00:43 EDT Christmas Ape http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5020513&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Media Approval Ratings: Chris Berman ]]>
Even though we've been accused of having some sort of vendetta against Chris Berman in the past, we can honestly say that's not even close to true. We still (mostly) enjoy him on "NFL Primetime," or the "Blitz," or whatever the hell they call that now. He, during our first six months of existence, he was barely mentioned around here. And then, of course, YWML hit.

"You're With Me, Leather" is now more than two years old ... and it seems older. As we mentioned in the book, we're sure YWML will end up on his tombstone, and we often fear it will end up on ours.

But hey: No such qualms about those videos, which will always have a home here.

So: Do you like the Chris Berman? Do you not like the Chris Berman? Let's hear it; it's like no one here's ever worked on polls before.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

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Deadspin-5009626 Mon, 19 May 2008 13:05:47 EDT Will Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5009626&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ The Masters Are Not Back Back Back ]]> bermanshootout.jpgThe Masters does begin tomorrow morning, at 8 a.m. (So set your alarms!) And, as mentioned last month, it will be telecast on ESPN, minus Chris Berman. We do not envy the exec who had to deliver that news to Boomer.

This is The Masters, after all, and it is Very Serious. In an odd way, we kind of wish Berman were broadcasting The Masters; his signature brio and bluster might take the tournament down a notch. If Chris Berman is broadcasting your event, you can't be that fancy.

Not that The Masters isn't hip with the new technology; check out their hi-LARIOUS new official blogger.

We do miss Gary McCord, though we only know that because we play the Tiger Woods video game.

ESPN Experiencing The Slippery Slopes At Augusta [Washington Post]

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Deadspin-377839 Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:35:29 EDT Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=377839&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Chris Berman won't be doing The Masters, ... ]]> Chris Berman won't be doing The Masters, reportedly in part because "it stands to reason ... he was considered by the Masters people to be a behavioral risk." Yeah, if that risk is partying and getting it on. Deux deux deux! [New York Post]

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Deadspin-370709 Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:55:08 EDT Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=370709&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Who, Exactly, Is Searching "Greatest Highlight" On ESPN.com? ]]> greatesthighlight.jpgIt surprised many that, according to ESPN's metrics, the most commonly searched term on their site for the month of February was "Greatest Highlight." This registers as a surprise because, well, the "Greatest Highlight" basically consists of our man Berman deux deux deuxing his way through ruining some of the greatest calls of our lifetime. All for the sake of Old Spice and other smiling sponsors. Sports fans like this? Really?

No, no they don't. When you consider that "Greatest Highlight" has been on every "SportsCenter" for a month, it would be a rather resounding failure for it not to show up somewhere. In our view, this is the same reason "Who's Now?" was the top searched term of 2007. We've discussed this before, but it warrants repeating:

ESPN is a corporation. As a corporation, their goal is to grow and make money. There is no crime in this; this is not an art project. But as most sports fans can tell you, even those of us who grow exhausted of the "Greatest Highlight" and "Who's Now" antics watch ESPN all the time. There is no viable competitor; if you're a sports fan who doesn't watch ESPN, you're really not much of a sports fan.

ESPN knows this. They know they have you; you aren't going anywhere. Because of this, they do not need to cater to you. To grow, they must bring in new viewers, people who are more casual sports fans, people who are more drawn in by the shiny objects of "controversy" and Dick Vitale. They're the ones who might think, hey ... I AM curious about how the world of sports intersects with the world of Hollywood! They are the new viewers; they are the people who discovered Nirvana way too late and ruined everything. (Note: We are one of these people, at least when it comes to Nirvana.) They are exactly the type of people who keep Chris Berman in our faces every night. And they're exactly the type of people who love the "Greatest Highlight;" people who, really, don't actually like sports that much.

So that's why, in our humble opinion, "Greatest Highlight" is the most searched term on ESPN.com. That, or the world is fucking collapsing all around us. Could be that.

"Greatest Highlight" Leads February Searches [ESPN]

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Deadspin-363679 Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:30:17 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=363679&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Berman Acknowledges Videos, Still Fighting Communism ]]>
If you had been wondering what exactly Chris Berman thought about the all those videos that have shown up around these parts, featuring him deux deux deuxing in supposedly off-camera moments, well, someone finally thought to ask him. His response is rational, paranoid and hilarious.

Basically, Berman is convinced that the Cold War is still going on, and it's happening on the series of tubes.

''It's almost as if what we would fight against as a country — the Soviets spying — it's almost like that's what everyone is doing,'' Berman said by phone Wednesday. "What's said in the huddle, which is what I did, should be in the huddle. I'm disappointed people would think I'm not really good with the people I work with, which couldn't be further from the truth. Do I wish I didn't say a few things nine years ago? Yes. But if that's the worst thing I ever did, I can live with it.''

We think that's a rather fair and measured reaction ... as long as it's the worst thing he ever did! Is there something worse out there? Careful, Mr. Berman ... the Soviets are everywhere.

Big Brother Watches, Listens [Miami Herald]
ESPN Reacts To Berman Videos, Takes Them Down Off YouTube. But Worry Not. [Deadspin]

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Deadspin-359621 Fri, 22 Feb 2008 14:20:56 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=359621&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ ESPN Reacts To Berman Videos, Takes Them Down Off YouTube. But Worry Not. ]]>
Yesterday, in another example of their increasing inability to ignore stories that come out about them online, ESPN released a statement about all those Berman videos. They made it clear the Chris Berman from the videos is not the Chris Berman you all know and love.

The off air videos are now nearly a decade old and do not reflect his typical workplace demeanor, his relationships with co-workers, nor the contributions he has made to ESPN over many years. Chris has a tremendous connection with sports fans and his body of work should not be judged by a few minutes of unguarded language uttered years ago. We aren't excusing the language used and will be emphasizing to our workforce the importance of using appropriate language in the workplace.

They also said they were contacting YouTube to make sure the videos were taken down, and, this morning, YouTube followed their edict. The videos are now all off YouTube. So we guess you just can't find them anymore. Sad. We wanted to keep watching them ...

Wait! Look! We've got them all right here!

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Deadspin-355926 Wed, 13 Feb 2008 14:20:03 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=355926&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Chris Berman Is Salieri To Al Michaels' Mozart ]]>
Few things tickle us more than a good broadcaster feud. Two gasbags, dueling it out for Mayor of Gasbaggington. It's little surprise that Chris Berman, who, yes, has another video out, and Al Michaels might be rivals.

In fact, we think we love the fact that Berman — who, in most of these videos, was making one of his first appearances on basic network TV — would have an imaginary rivalry with Al, who will always be slicker, smoother and more Hollywood. You have to love the relish with which Berman sneers "Alllll," quietly aware that Joe Montana, no matter how many songs he yells with Huey Lewis, will always like Al more. No respect, we tell you: No respect.

Berman YouTuber Shares Some Insight [Deadspin]

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Deadspin-355363 Tue, 12 Feb 2008 09:15:22 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=355363&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Our Brief Conversation With The Guy Releasing All The Berman Videos ]]>
Over the weekend, we emailed the infamous "ampex2000," the guy who has been releasing all those amazing Chris Berman videos that are out to destroy God. We were looking for an interview. Unfortunately, Busted Coverage beat us to it. But we still talked to him anyway.

Here's the full transcription:

Have you had this videos for a long time, or did you just come across them? That is to say: Have you been sitting on them? We ask because the timing of the first one was quite savvy; it came out right during Super Bowl Week, when it would get the most exposure.

I'm sorry but I can't take credit for the first video. I was actually given that a few years ago and sat on it. When I saw it released on Youtube it triggered my memory that I had that one and some more.

We assume you've had some sort of reason to come across Berman in the past, and found him unpleasant. Is this a sort of revenge? Or just a way to show the world the way he really is?

Both. I found him to be a phony and very unprofessional. I've worked with him a few times before and did not like him. But that's just the way it is. I put up my video because now that the cat was out of the bag I thought what the heck. The public might as well know what he is really like. When talent, a producer, director, engineer is a great guy you go to all ends to help them out. But when someone is an ahole even in an air situation you let them stew and suffer whenever you can and he certainly is one that needs to be cut down a few notches.

You received any official response? Frankly, we're surprised your videos haven't been taken down.

No responses. I don't know if they can. Maybe they are fed up with him also.

Are there more coming? Are we just getting warmed up?

I posted one more last night. And if I have time I have one more that will probably piss off another announcer.

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Deadspin-354954 Mon, 11 Feb 2008 17:10:17 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=354954&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Christian Group to Protest ESPN Tomorrow Over Culture of Insensitivity ]]>

It seems the latest round of Berman videos was enough to prompt a return trip to Bristol for angry Christians. A press release reveals all of ESPN's sins that need to be addressed and protested tomorrow at noon:

The coalition is concerned there exists at ESPN a "lack of sensitivity to persons of faith and a culture of religious intolerance." To support this position view the link listed below showing ESPN anchor Chris Berman using the term "Jesus" and "Goddamn" in the workplace.
http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=4911

The Christian Defense Coalition will be calling on ESPN to take three positive steps toward building a culture of religious tolerance in their workplace:

*Discipline or terminate any employee that uses religiously intolerant and hateful language such as "Goddamn" or the negative use of "Jesus Christ" in the workplace.

*Sponsor a workplace seminar and dialogue on religious tolerance and discrimination in the workplace. ESPN has held similar seminars on race and gender but never on religion.

*Host a discussion on one of their programs featuring the topic of the offensive use of "Goddamn" and "Jesus Christ" within the sports world.

It is the goal of the Christian Defense Coalition to help ESPN realize the negative use of "Jesus Christ" and "Goddamn" in the workplace is as offense and hateful as using the term "nigger" in the workplace.

Rev. Patrick J. Mahoney, Director of the Christian Defense Coalition, comments, "We must work for an America in which there is zero acceptance of religious intolerance in the workplace for all faith traditions. Hateful and intolerant expressions like 'Goddamn' or the negative use of 'Jesus Christ' should be viewed with scorn and outrage.

"Corporate America must begin to understand that terms like 'Goddamn' and the negative use of 'Jesus Christ' in the workplace are no different than using expressions like 'faggot' or 'nigger' in the workplace.

"Sadly, ESPN still doesn't seem to get it when it comes to religious intolerance and discrimination in the workplace. Their refusal to adequately address the Dana Jacobson situation and comments made by Chris Berman indicates there exists a culture of religious insensitivity at ESPN.

"Our hope is that ESPN will take a positive first step toward ending workplace religious intolerance by implementing our three recommendations. By doing so, a powerful message will be sent to corporate America that people of faith should not be treated as second-class citizens while at work."

Protest starts at Noon on West Street in front of ESPN. (Across from the McDonald's, the release says.)

Sounds like a party. Suggested items to bring: Chardonnay with bite, Grey Goose,


Demonstration in front of ESPN on Monday [Christian News Wire]


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Deadspin-354740 Sun, 10 Feb 2008 15:46:44 EST DAULERIO http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=354740&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Berman YouTuber Shares Some Insight ]]>

Sunday afternoon is devoted to Busted Coverage, apparently. The BC showed the initiative to reach out to the mysterious "Ampex 2000", author of the last four Berman videos that emerged online. Turns out the poster "was" in broadcasting for a few years.

Have you been holding the Berman vids since 2000? If so, why?

I saw the one that someone released that was a huge hit. I thought I was given the only copy years ago. At that point I said what the heck let's see how many hits can we get with the other ones. After all few see what some of these announcers are like and this is a perfect representation of what Chris is really like!

But, still, if the guy "was" in broadcasting, why no true identity? I'm still curious as to why these videos suddenly started surfacing recently.

Chris Berman YouTube Poster Talks to Busted Coverage [BC]

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Deadspin-354706 Sun, 10 Feb 2008 12:45:26 EST DAULERIO http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=354706&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Oh My ]]>

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Deadspin-354588 Sat, 09 Feb 2008 03:50:22 EST DAULERIO http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=354588&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ And...Let's Just Get This Out Of The Way Early ]]>

Two more Chris Berman videos have been unearthed from their dusty graves.

The first one (above) is not as mind-blowing as the original jeeezuschrist-capade loosed upon the world during Super Bowl week, but this one showcases Chris Berman's subtler way of undermining an production crew.

The second one can be seen over at the good ship Sports By Brooks. This one...well, just watch it. The creepy back-and-forth between Berman and "Rebecca" plays like the opening dialogue of a sexual harassment training video.

But all of these videos should teach everyone a valuable lesson: never piss off a p.a. at Monday Night Football.

See you in a few hours...

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Deadspin-354583 Sat, 09 Feb 2008 00:26:12 EST DAULERIO http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=354583&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ The Real Reason Berman Lost His Mind ]]>
This has been a few places already, including With Leather, Ladies ... and Pro Football Talk, but god, it's too funny not to put on our site.

Brilliance, in historic mashup form.

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Deadspin-353755 Thu, 07 Feb 2008 15:10:06 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=353755&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ How Chris Berman Should Do Highlights From Now On ]]>
If you still haven't wrapped your head around that epic Chris Berman video yesterday — and, honestly, the video becomes a little more mesmerizing each time we see it — the guys at Zubaz Pants have put together this fun, inevitable remix.

We still think it would have been awesome if he'd have tossed in a "WOOP!" in the middle of his rant.

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Deadspin-351557 Fri, 01 Feb 2008 11:40:11 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=351557&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Chris Berman Is Somewhat Perturbed With The Help ]]>
We have no idea why it has taken eight years for this video to come out ... but we think it was worth the wait.

(UPDATE: Worry not, those who fear this will be taken down from YouTube. We've got it embedded for good.

By the way, credit where credit is due: While it's still up, here's credit to the anonymous YouTube poster who put this up in the first place.)

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Deadspin-351147 Thu, 31 Jan 2008 12:50:01 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=351147&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ We haven't run into Berman yet while in Arizona, ... ]]> We haven't run into Berman yet while in Arizona, but this guy has. YOU HAVING FUN YET? [Rotoworld]

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Deadspin-350638 Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:25:28 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=350638&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Oh Christ; it's a new show on SportsCenter, ... ]]> Oh Christ; it's a new show on SportsCenter, to be hosted by Berman. [Awful Announcing]

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Deadspin-335698 Wed, 19 Dec 2007 17:35:32 EST rickchand http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=335698&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Fun With Bermanisms ]]> bermanoldold.jpgWhat is the worst Bermanism of all time? Sure, they're all cringe-inducing; especially if you imagine him blurting them out during pickup sex. Plus, they seem to multiply like fleas; there must be about a hundred of them. Well, actually, 528 to be exact. Yep, some poor sap compiled a list of every baseball Bermanism ever (so he claims), and here they are.

It's hard to believe that at one time, these were considered clever. My least favorite? I have always detested Mike April Blowers, just because it's lazy. I also have a particular dislike for Joey Alba Cora; don't ask me why. There is also Dennis Short Order Cook and Steve Short Order Cooke, which is just inexcusable: If you're repeating yourself on this drivel, you really are ready for retirement. Anyway, my five worst, any one of which should be enough to warrant prison time:

• 5. Chris if I were a Carpenter

• 4. Mark Clark Bar

• 3. Rob the Flying Nen

• 2. Ozzie like a Virgil

• 1. Kirt what was that Manwaring

It's sad, really. Watching Berman these days is like watching a live Foreigner concert: It was bad enough the first time, but you mean to tell me that they're still doing it?

ESPN Announcer Chris Berman's Strange Sports Nicknames [Strange Cosmos]
You're With Me, Kerry Leather And Lacy [100 Percent Injury Rate]

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Deadspin-330656 Thu, 06 Dec 2007 13:35:16 EST rickchand http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=330656&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Dunkin' Berman ]]> dunkinberman.JPGI wrote for my college newspaper, and yesterday I got to flex my rarely-used reporterly muscles when I spotted this ad outside a Dunkin' Donuts by my house.

There's nothing on the Dunkin' Donuts corporate Web site about Berman's newest gig, and Google is no help either, so it's up to you, dear Deadspinners, to fill in the back story.

On a personal note, on behalf of the rest of the Ladies... I'd like to thank Will for letting us play over here this weekend, and for everyone who commented on our posts. This is a tough gig. Weekday Daddy makes it look easy, and it sure as hell isn't.

-Clare

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Deadspin-291078 Sun, 19 Aug 2007 18:10:00 EDT Ladies http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=291078&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Prepare For The Brain Explosion That Is The Home Run Derby ]]>
We know we got yelled at just this morning for recycling — consider the "Year Ago In Deadspin" feature toast — but it's Home Run Derby, and that means just one thing: It's the day Chris Berman lives for, and the day the rest of us pray for a quick, merciful death. (Last year, we actually watched six Berman Derbys in a row on ESPN Classic. We're just now recovering.)

We have never inherently been big fans of the Derby; it's like whippets to us, dumb spectacle we enjoy only because millions of brain cells are being destroyed at once. Because of that whole MLB-ESPN fight, there almost wasn't a Home Run Derby this year. Shame. Pity.

With Berman doing his thing, you'll certainly need a drinking game. (And a guide to local suburbs.)

But look! The ball is in the air ... and now it's in the water! Oooooooooooooooo.

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Deadspin-276334 Mon, 09 Jul 2007 17:50:38 EDT Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=276334&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Chris Berman Wants The Kids To Learn From The Master ]]>

A reader, whom we suspect represents a large swath of the Deadspin demographic, wrote us this morning:

My girlfriend doesn't have cable, so I had to choose between Regis and Kelly, Divorce Court, Tyra, or Sesame Street to watch with breakfast this morning. Easy choice - I went with the Muppets. You are not going to believe this, but there is a Berman Muppet complete with terrible hair do. He was calling an event where Telly Monster and some others were chasing around a floating hunk of cheese.

They replayed the episode at noon ET ... and he's absolutely right. The Berman Muppet, voiced by Boomer himself, broadcasts a race for cheese. He does not eat it.

This is all absolutely true. The mind spins.

Season 36 Parodies [Sesame Workshop]
You're With Me, Leather [Wikipedia]

(UPDATE: Here's the video. See? We didn't make it up!)

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Deadspin-271059 Thu, 21 Jun 2007 17:00:17 EDT Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=271059&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ In The '90s, They'd Make A Poster Of Anything ]]>

A reader on vacation in Sanibel Island, Fla., stumbled into a sports bar where the above poster was prominently displayed.

A few thoughts:

1. Someone made a poster of Chris Berman? Wha?
2. We don't understand the concept: Who is he supposed to be terminating? Or did they just think it would be funny to put glasses on him. Surely, they would not approach the great Chris Berman with a concept so banal and simple as a play on one's name?
3. Wonder where he got the jacket.

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Deadspin-256737 Tue, 01 May 2007 15:00:07 EDT Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=256737&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Time For 12 Hours Of Names Being Read Aloud! ]]> leinartshellshocked2.jpgWe will never forget last year's NFL Draft, when poor Matt Leinart suddenly realized he'd been drafted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. We look forward to a similar reaction from Wisconsin offensive lineman Joe Thomas tomorrow, who might just jump off his fishing boat and try to drown himself if the Buzzsaw draft him. Big fun.

The draft kicks off tomorrow, and if we suggest continuing the grand tradition of doing a shot every time Chris Berman "slyly" gives a way a pick as Roger Goodell walks to the podium. If you're a fan of any particular team, The Jaunt has helpfully provided a guide to your local franchise's official draft parties, and Kissing Suzy Kolber has a perfect approximation of what Goodell is telling the potential draftees right now.

Around here, The Mighty MJD and Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders will be taking you through pick-by-pick. We just want to see an Al Davis interview, that's all we ask.

NFL Fans, You're On The Clock [The Jaunt]
My League, My Draft, My Rules [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

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Deadspin-255905 Fri, 27 Apr 2007 17:00:58 EDT Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=255905&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ When Berman Got His "American Gladiators" On ]]>

So back in 1993, a would-be "reality" television show called "Conquer Fort Boyard" aired its pilot on ABC. It appears to be a half-"Survivor," half-"American Gladiators" type show, with a bunch of people jumping and climbing things.

It is also hosted by Cathy Lee Crosby and ... your friend and ours Chris Berman.

So:
Watch! As Berman attempts to make uncomfortable forced banter with Crosby!
Marvel! As our man does his best to avoid making an Eagles reference!
Gasp! As the YWML hero is literally lowered from a helicopter!

The full details of the show can be found here. Oh, and, obviously: Berman bagged Crosby. Clearly.

Conquer Fort Boyard [BothersBar]

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Deadspin-254893 Tue, 24 Apr 2007 19:00:51 EDT Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=254893&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Berman: It Is Useless To Resist ]]>

Via Sports by Brooks comes further proof that, although nature and common sense would seem to dictate otherwise, our nation's women are helpless before the visage of Berman. We sincerely believe that he can point at a woman any time he wishes — like James Earl Jones in Conan the Barbarian — and she would leap off of the cliff.

Had Berman been in this sports bar in person, he likely would have "hit it," as the kids say, although we strongly suspect that the zesty appetizer combo would have come in a very, very close second.

Wherefore Art Thou, Leather? [SportsbyBrooks]

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Deadspin-242532 Thu, 08 Mar 2007 11:45:08 EST rickchand http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=242532&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Chris Berman Will Touch Your Heart And Soul ]]> bermanoath4.jpgFar be it from us to make fun of a guy for getting the backrub treatment from his hometown newspaper — it's the one place you're guaranteed good press — but we couldn't help but smile when came across Chris Berman, motivational speaker.

This Wednesday at the Palace Theatre in Waterbury, Berman — aka Mr. Enthusiasm — will share his life story and give a motivational talk. The Cheshire resident will also take part in a question-and-answer segment with audience members. The "Pre-Game with Chris," during which people can meet and greet Berman, will begin at 5:30 and "The Inside Scoop" presentation will start at 7. Waterbury sportscaster Bob Sagendorf will emcee the event.

We can never figure out how to use the trains that go to Connecticut from NYC, so we probably won't be able to make this, but we really could read this hometown love-in story all week. Our favorite line: "Berman has brought laughs and smiles to countless number of faces with his unique, inimitable delivery of sports highlights, and he is prepared to entertain his audience at the Palace. He will also be there to encourage and offer tips to young people who dream of becoming sports broadcasters." Well, that would be one way to say it.

Get 'The Inside Scoop' On ESPN's Berman At Palace Theatre [Republican American]

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Deadspin-239629 Mon, 26 Feb 2007 11:00:34 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=239629&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Chris Berman Isn't Here To Talk About The Past ]]> bermanoath3.jpgClay Travis, one of the bright spots over at CBS Sportsline, once opined about the daily hell that "You're With Me, Leather" could potentially put Chris Berman through, but as far as we knew, no one had ever actually asked him about it in a public forum. That is, until this weekend, at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am, where Berman and his ubiquitous Hawaiian shirts faced the media and what the catchphrase hath wrought.

"I don't even know what that is,'' he said Friday at Pebble Beach. Did he hear anything about the Internet phenomenon associated with him? "Not once, because the people here are nice people,'' he said.

"A lot of people are very mean-spirited, apparently,'' Berman said. He later added, "You're talking about something that happened nine years ago, some people want to dump on a guy that's been pretty nice to people for 27 years.''

Berman goes from denying any awareness of the phrase to acknowledging it as pointing out how "mean-spirited" people are. We find that sad; we've said all along that Berman has nothing to be ashamed of from the phrase, even if it did "happen nine years ago." Being nice to people for 27 years and pulling out that pickup line nine years ago ... these things are not mutually exclusive. We mean not to be mean-spirited; as always, sir, we only mean to salute you, and your prowess.

Chris Berman Doesn't Appreciate His Place In Cultural History [San Jose Mercury News]
You're With Me, Leather [Deadly Hippos]
You're With Me Leather T-Shirts [Gawker Shop]

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Deadspin-235762 Mon, 12 Feb 2007 10:00:21 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=235762&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Jesus, Does He Have A Shirt That ISN'T Hawaiian? ]]>

This picture isn't particularly salacious, or telling, or anything else, but a commenter applicant sent it to us, and any time we've got Michael Irvin and a bloated, sweaty Berman surrounded by women, well, we're contractually obligated to run it. We gotta start reading the fine print.

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Deadspin-229637 Thu, 18 Jan 2007 13:30:48 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=229637&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Your SHOTY Winner: Barbaro ]]> barbaroshotywinner.jpg

All right, well, after nearly two months of voting, we finally have a winner of the 2006 Sportshuman Of The Year tournament ... and, alas, it is not a human.

With a last-day surge that reeks of voting irregularities, the great Barbaro has overcome Chris Berman's October surprise and won the 2006 SHOTY Tournament. As with the Carl Monday voting, Barbaro came from behind late: Even with a bum leg, the fella can finish.

We think this vote might be a little bogus and have a feeling some creative scripting was done to stack the vote totals ... but we're not going to get worked up about it. As we said with the "Run Dinosaur Run" Hall of Fame induction: "Stuffing online ballot boxes for an obscure phrase about a furry dinosaur seems like the very definition of the Deadspin way." The same goes for a horse.

Congratulations, Barbaro. From champion, to potential glue, to the SHOTY Champ. Heckuva year.

SHOTY Final: Chris Berman Vs. Barbaro [Deadspin]

(Note: Contrary to what Barbaro's Wikipedia page might say, we do not, in fact, earn a ride on Barbaro because he won this tourney. But a man can dream!)

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Deadspin-226906 Mon, 08 Jan 2007 14:00:07 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=226906&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ The View Is Great From Here! ]]>

If you're having any trouble deciding how to vote in the SHOTY Final, or if you're just one of those odd people who have doubted the "You're With Me, Leather" story, we happily present you with these old photos — there's another after the jump — of everybody's favorite children's entertainer Chris Berman, taken two years ago at the Super Bowl in Jacksonville. (We'd like to thank truesportsfans for this. A lot.)

And you doubted. Shame on you. SHAME on you! That's stupid ... just stupid.

berman2.jpg

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Deadspin-226337 Fri, 05 Jan 2007 15:30:12 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=226337&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ SHOTY Final: Chris Berman Vs. Barbaro ]]>

Well, while we were gone, the late rush of Barbaro votes came in, and he edged out Carl Monday right after the new year, sending him into the final with, of course, Chris Berman, who has yet to be challenged. We suspect he's in for one now.

This whole tourney has gone on too long already — it is 2007, after all — so this will run until Monday at noon ET, at which time we will crown the inaugural champ. You know the rules. Get to voting.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

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Deadspin-226096 Thu, 04 Jan 2007 16:30:54 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=226096&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Chris Berman Vs. Harold Reynolds ]]> sportshuman.jpg

All right, here we are: It's time for the Final Four. We have our ESPN side of the bracket, and then our Masturbator Locator Vs. Horse side of the bracket. All four candidates are worthy. It's time for some tough decisions, people.

The polls for the semis will be open all the way through the holidays, until January 4, so feel free to take your time making up your mind. Because it's for all the marbles, as they say. And we mean marbles: We're going to send marbles to the winner. Here's the most recent bracket:

bracketthatfool.jpg

The matchup breakdown:

No. 1 Seed: Chris Berman
2006 Highlights
Changed the way you thought about pickup lines.
United Tony Kornheiser, Keith Olbermann, TRL, prime-time NBC programs and an awesome teenager who's "stupid, just stupid."
Spawned the first piece of Deadspin clothing.

No. 5 Seed: Harold Reynolds
2006 Highlights
Fired from ESPN for "undisclosed" reasons.
Hugged the wrong person at the wrong time.
Played awfully dumb.
Sued ESPN's ass.

So, go vote: Who is headed for the SHOTY Title Game?

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

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Deadspin-222884 Tue, 19 Dec 2006 14:00:00 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=222884&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Chris Berman Vs. Matt Leinart ]]> sportshuman.jpg

At last: The first round is over, and we have our eight winners. For all the talk of potential upsets and the supposed mis-seeding of certain competitors, there was only one first round "upset": Stephen A. Smith took down Ozzie Guillen, and that was a shaky seed in the first place.

But now we're to the final eight, the Elite Eight, if you will, and it's gonna get tight. The updated bracket, from the great Jim Cooke:

sportshuman_bracket2.jpg

So, time for the nitty-gritty. The final eight commences, with Chris Berman, who cruised past Farney in the first round, against Matt Leinart, who had little trouble with Rick Sutcliffe, who was unable to solve that thing. The tale of the tape.

No. 1 Seed: Chris Berman
2006 Highlights
Changed the way you thought about pickup lines.
United Tony Kornheiser, Keith Olbermann, TRL, prime-time NBC programs and an awesome teenager who's "stupid, just stupid."
Spawned the first piece of Deadspin clothing.

No. 8 Seed: Matt Leinart
2006 Highlights
Drafted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals.
Consumated sexual relationship with Paris Hilton.
Impregnated USC basketball player.
Discovered what life with the Buzzsaw is really like.

So, go vote: Who is headed for the Final Four?

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

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Deadspin-219365 Tue, 05 Dec 2006 14:00:17 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=219365&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Chris Berman Vs. Farney ]]> sportshuman.jpg

All right, after some wild voting irregularities yesterday — remember: The Deadspin way is not to raise too much issue with people cheering on their favorites in a poll on a silly blog — we have what we'd think would be a blowout today. But you never know: Someday a No. 16 WILL beat a No. 1. Probably not today, though.

By the way, voting for the first round will close the day after the final first-round matchup, in case you were wondering. So there's still time to vote if you haven't already.

But first, today's apparent mismatch: It's No. 1 seed Chris Berman taking on Farney, the imaginary friend of Cincinnati Reds utilityman Ryan Freel.

Let's go to the videotape!

No. 1 Seed: Chris Berman
2006 Highlights
Changed the way you thought about pickup lines.
United Tony Kornheiser, Keith Olbermann, TRL, prime-time NBC programs and an awesome teenager who's "stupid, just stupid."
Spawned the first piece of Deadspin clothing.

No. 16 Seed: Farney
2006 Highlights
Advised his "friend" Ryan Freel to throw himself into walls.

So, go vote: Who advances to the Elite Eight?

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

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Deadspin-216337 Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:00:14 EST Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=216337&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Please Heed These Tips For A Safe And Fun Halloween ]]> irwin.jpgThis is for all of you Halloween revelers who are planning on being clever tomorrow night and dress up like Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. And you know who you are. We see you with the Paul Hogan hat and the toy sting ray and the too-tight khaki shorts, and we're begging you to stop. My God, many of you even have toy crocodiles. Ecch. Just don't do it. And not because it would be in poor taste, but because it's lame; everyone is going to have the same idea. From the Snopes.com message board:

I just had a conversation with the woman who runs our giftshop here at work. Apparently there has been a run on the stuffed animal stingrays along with the kid size zookeeper outfits. Folks intend to sew the rays to the front and send the kids out on Halloween as Steve Irwin. Man that's harsh. Ironically, the womans name is Barb. (honest truth). — Best, Mark Rehling, Aquarium Biologist, Cleveland Metroparks Zoo.

Imagine an entire neighborhhood of kids walking around saying "crikey." It's embarrassing. It's wrong. Do you want your children to end up like the poor little bastards who once wore these? Think about it. Just watch this week's South Park. Should explain the whole matter.

May we suggest instead:

Keggy. Hours of fun for the entire family. (Please return costume by 11 a.m. Wednesday or forfeit deposit).

• Chris Berman. (Combover sold separately).

Mr. Celery. A bagful of candy, and a nutrious snack.

• Coach Janky Spanky. Ironically, Halloween is the only night that Clinton Portis doesn't dress up.

• Notre Dame football coach Charlie Weis. "Hey, where are all my sofa cushions? Kids!"

• Carl Monday. Trenchcoat, check. Mustache, check. Microphone, check. Never mind the candy, ma'm; Anyone in there jackin' it?

Wait ... somebody beat us to this one!

Generic-078.jpg

Worst Halloween Costumes Of All Time [RetroCrush]
It's The Crocodile Hunter, Charile Brown [Snopes.com]

Another Carl Monday costume, from brilliant reader John Stokes, after the jump.

Generic-080.jpg

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Deadspin-210942 Mon, 30 Oct 2006 14:45:46 EST rickchand http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=210942&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Parents Sentence Son To Lifetime Of Ass-Kickings ]]> bullies2nelson2.jpgAs The Mighty MJD mentioned on Sunday, Leann and Rusty Real of D'Iberville, Miss., have named their kid ESPN Montana Real. That's pronounced "Espen," as in, "Mrs. Johnson! The other boys have run Espen's pants up the flagpole again!"

We were the talk of the hospital," Rusty Real said. "The nurses kept asking my wife if she was really going to let her husband name him ESPN. She said, 'Oh, yes.'

Yes, the talk of the hospital now, but parents like these never seem to grasp the big picture. Like, what if 12 years down the road the kid happens to suck at sports? What trama will be induced when, while at the free throw line in the big high school game, the opposing team's fans start chanting the ESPN theme? And what if, God forbid, he actually ends up resembling Chris Berman? In fact, there's always the outside chance ... naw, forget it. Berman's never even been to Mississippi.

Actually the whole thing could have been a lot worse. His middle name could have been "Mobile."

Parents Name Baby After ESPN, Joe Montana [MSNBC]

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Deadspin-206080 Mon, 09 Oct 2006 12:45:11 EDT rickchand http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=206080&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Ah ... When The Catchphrases Felt Only SLIGHTLY Warmed Over ]]>

Here's your little blast for the past today: As difficult as it is to believe that Hootie and the Blowfish were ever considered cool — we're not sure that actually ever happened — it's, these days, just as difficult to comprehend ESPN being, you know, down with the kids. These two unique cultural curiosities intersected in this famous music video, which we suspect you haven't seen in a long, long time.

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Deadspin-204875 Tue, 03 Oct 2006 15:15:31 EDT Leitch http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=204875&view=rss&microfeed=true